DOES THE ORTHODOX CHURCH
PERMIT MIXED MARRIAGE?
by John Hudanish"A bird may love a fish, but where will they build a home together?"
* Tevye, from "Fiddler on the Roof"
The 24 July 1988 issue of THE CHURCH MESSENGER, published by the American Carpatho-Russian Orthodox Greek Catholic Diocese in the USA, carried an article entitled "Perspectives in Marriages to Non-Christian Spouses" by Father George Papaioannou of the Greek Archdiocese. The thrust of this article is that Orthodox Christians may marry outside the Faith.
Father George wrote, in part, as follows:
"Living in a pluralistic society such as ours, we cannot ignore those who marry outside the Church. Like a good shepherd, the priest has to serve them. Yet, there are others who find this approach condemnable. Is it? On the contrary, this writer believers that this approach is justified by both the Bible and the history of the Church."
Having made this statement, however, Father George fails to back it up. The only justification he offers from "the Bible and the history of the Church" in support of mixed marriages is a passage from St. Paul's First Epistle to the Corinthians:
"If any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him; for the unbelieving husband is consecrated by his wife and the unbelieving wife by the husband." (I Cor. 7:12-13)
The implication here is that, since St. Paul mentions mixed marriages, the early Church must have permitted believers to marry non- believers. But this was not the case. In St. Paul's day, the vast majority of Christians, including the Apostles and even St. Paul himself, were CONVERTS. They had come into the Church of their own volition as adults.
And many of them were already married and had families BEFORE they were baptized. Since one's own conviction are a very PERSONAL thing, it naturally follows that the decision to become a Christian did not always come to both husband and wife simultaneously in every family. Thus it was that the Church is St. Paul's day included a significant number of couples in which one partner had embraced the Faith and been received through baptism months or even years before the other. And this is how we must understand I Corin- thians 7:12-13.This is how St. John Chrysostom understands it. In his nineteenth homily, he addresses this very passage and then cautions,
"...the issue here does not concern those who are contemplating marriage, but only those who are already married. He did not say, 'If any brother wants to marry an unbeliever,' but, 'if any brother HAS a wife who is an unbeliever...' This means that if anyone receives the Word of Truth AFTER getting married, and the wife remains an unbeliever, but wants the marriage to continue, then it should not be broken. 'For the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her husband.' The purity of the believer is the stronger force."
In 691 A.D., the Quinisextene Ecumenical Council convened in Trullo and deliberated on this very question. The assembled bishops spoke out AGAINST marriages between Orthodox and unbelievers in no uncertain terms:
"An Orthodox man is not permitted to marry an heretical woman, nor is an Orthodox woman to be joined to an heretical man. But if anything of this kind appear to have been done by any, we require them to consider the marriage null, and that the marriage be dissolved. For it is not fitting to mingle together what should not be mingled, nor is it right that the sheep be joined to the wolf, nor the lot of sinners with the portion of Christ. But if anyone shall transgress the things which we have decreed, let him be cut off. But if any, who up to this time are unbelievers and are not yet numbered in the flock of the Orthodox, have contracted lawful marriage between themselves, and if then, one choosing the right and coming to the light of truth, and the other remaining still detained by the bond of error and not willing to behold with steady eye the divine rays, (and if) the unbelieving woman is pleased to cohabit with the believing man, or the unbelieving man with the believing woman, let them not be separated, according to the divine Apostle, 'for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife by her husband.'" (Canon LXXII)
The "divine Apostle" himself, in his Second Epistle to the Corinthians (6:14-15), has this to say about marrying a heretic:
"Do not be mismated with unbelievers. For what partnership have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?"
The message is unmistakably clear! Scripture, a universally acclaimed Church Father, and a canon of an Ecumenical Council - all three inveigh heavily against marriages between Orthodox and heterodox. The teaching of the Orthodox Church is very clear on this subject: an Orthodox Christian may NOT marry someone who is not Orthodox. And a mixed marriage is permitted only when BOTH partners were OUTSIDE the Church when the marriage took place. The testimony of Scripture and Tradition specifically and emphatically denies any notion that marriage between Orthodox and heterodox is a practice that can be "justified by both the Bible and history of the Church!"
In fact, the wording of Canon LXXII above is so uncompromisingly strong in forbidding such a practice, that it appears even to deny any and every local hierarch's traditional discretionary right of economia in applying in, to wit:
"...But if anything of this kind appear to have been done by ANY, we require them to consider the marriage null, and that the marriage be dissolved..." (emphasis mine)
And yet, despite these clear prohibitions, mixed marriages are not uncommon, even in the more traditional jurisdictions. How do they occur?
No doubt each marriage is unique, a special case unto itself. But we can be sure that all of them involve, to a greater or lesser degree, ignorance of or indifference to, the canons and traditions of the Orthodox Church.
A number of factors combine to create this deplorable situation in the western world. First of all, there is the popular image of Jesus Christ as an emasculated dishrag, a false, permissive god who loves everything, demands nothing and, in the name of divine love, rescues even the unrepentant from the consequences of their own behavior.
Then there are the three philosophical pillars of contemporary society: humanism, secularism and skepticism, which put man - instead of God - at the center of the universe, advocate a legal fiction that one religion is as good as any other, including NO religion, and constantly question every tenet, every dogma, every accepted convention and revealed Truth in the name
of Progress and Intellectual Freedom (false gods if ever there were any), and thereby deprive members of society of the capacity to experience what it is like to have firm ground under their feet. There are also contemporary notions of romantic love, a heady form of dementia this writer knows only too well. It feels great for a season, but unless the starry-eyed has something more in common than just an intense physical attraction, they will inevitably wake up one day to find their mutual infatuation has evaporated, leaving them to consider a range of REAL issues, like paying bills and raising children.Finally, there are compassionate priests who painfully understand the dynamic interaction of all factors just mentioned. They are constantly frustrated at their inability to keep the sheep Christ has put it their care safe from the pernicious influences of contemporary society. To their eternal credit, they never stop caring for the lost sheep, the ones who've willfully wandered away from the Church's salvific fold. But in their desperation to bring in ALL the sheep, they sometimes err by attempting
to redefine the fold. Theirs is a misplaced compassion. In stretching the boundaries of the fold to accommodate the lost sheep, they endanger the rest of the flock.We are fortunate enough to live in a free country. No one old enough to marry can be FORCED to be Orthodox. Membership in the Church is ultimately a matter of choice. So why would anyone call himself Orthodox if he rejects the Church's authority and refuses to abide by the canons and standards of behavior She has upheld throughout Her history? Perhaps more to the point, why would anyone choose to be an Orthodox priest if he feels the Church is too rigid and out of step with the times? Rather than call upon the Church to lower Her standards, such persons should reassess their personal views in light of Scripture and Tradition and, if they still prefer their personal convictions to the teachings of the Church, they ought to leave Her. Given the multitude of so-called Christian churches in America, it would be a simple matter to find a congregation with a more elastic theology and JOIN it.
Father George asks: "How do we deal with these people who were baptized and confirmed in the Orthodox faith but not married in the Church?" Canon LXXII of Trullo directs that the marriage be dissolved. But if the Orthodox partner refuses to acknowledge the Church's authority and continues to cohabit with an heretical spouse in a union not blessed by the Church, then let him (or her) be cut off. Surely Father George must be aware of this canon. Why isn't it acceptable to him? What other course of action is there? Would he administer the Sacraments of the Church to those who remain obdurate and unrepentant in defiance of Her authority? Is this the sort of behavior that defines a responsible shepherd? How will he answer for such behavior before Christ, Who Himself has said, "...if (the sinner) refuses to listen to the Church, then treat him as you would a heathen or a publican". (Mat. 18:17)
God made us to be with Him forever in His Heavenly Kingdom. He doesn't want to see anyone going to hell. But He has given us free will. He lets us make choices, even if these choices separate us from Him. This is what free will is all about. So let Father George remember, as any person of grown children knows, that good people sometimes make bad choices - and sooner or later they may have to face the consequences.
It is not our place to speculate on the consequences in the hereafter. But anyone with eyes can see what bitter fruit mixed marriages often bear in the here and now. The Orthodox partner in a mixed marriage is compromised at least as often as the unbelieving spouse is consecrated. Contemporary sociologists have observed that marriage between persons of different faiths are peaceful enough provided BOTH PARTNERS ARE INDIFFERENT TO THEIR RESPECTIVE RELIGIONS. Conflicts occur when one partner attempts to bring his (or her) religious convictions into the home.
If the Orthodox spouse is devout and sincerely tries to LIVE his (or her) faith, sooner or later this will be perceived as an imposition by the heterodox partner. As impositions build, resigned acceptance will give way to passive resistance, which itself will be replaced eventually by ridicule and even open hostility. And gradually Saturday vespers, fasting, morning and evening prayers, prayers at mealtime, and even Sunday liturgy will be abandoned for the sake of domestic tranquility. This is how the Orthodox spouse is separated from the Body of Christ and defiled.
The real losers in such marriages are the children, raised in an environment wherein an Orthodox mind-set is just a dim memory for one of the partners.
We Orthodox people are a PECULIAR people, a people set apart. Since Christ's Resurrection, we are the New Israel. We are the children of Abraham. We are heirs to the Promise made to Jacob. And we claim our inheritance, not through genealogy or ethnic derivation, but through a dynamic FAITH in Christ.
It's an awful lot to risk for the sake of a transitory infatuation.
Three priests who edit the above-referenced publications thought enough of this article to print it.
Remember, you become Orthodox, not to CHANGE the Church, but rather to be changed by it.
Published in three Orthodox periodicals: "ORTHODOX AMERICA", "LIVING ORTHODOXY" and "ONE CHURCH"
For more info please contact Rev. George Konyev or John Hudanish