The family is the basic unit or 'cell'
of society, and the Christian family is also a major building block of
the Orthodox Church. The Church places greet importance on the family to
fulfil its role as a small church, as expressed by the Apostle Paul. When
St. Paul greeted Priscilla and Aquila, his "fellow workers in Christ
Jesus" he also greeted "the church that is in their house" (Romans
16:3, 5). He also greeted "Nymphas and the church that is in
his house" (Col 4:15).
Monasticism is also another major
Christian social unit. The Church places this unit above married life as
monasticism has played an important role as the guiding element in Her
history. Monasticism supports the Church, preserves Her dogmas and keeps
the Divine Liturgy Orthodox. While the Church blesses the monastic life,
She also blesses marriage knowing that not all can take on the responsibility
and commitment that comes with celibacy and living a monastic life. This
blessing is acknowledged as a Mystery (Sacrament) of the Church.
The Sacrament (Mystery) of Marriage In the Mystery of Marriage the Church
asks God to help the couple being married understand, fulfil and establish
a 'church' at home, i.e. to establish Christian relationships within
the family, to raise children in the faith and life according to the Scriptures,
to be an example of humility and patience for your children to follow.
The Christian family begins with
the Mystery of Marriage, and specifically with the exchange of rings and
placing of the wedding crowns (wreaths) upon those being married. This
is accompanied with the words, "The servant of God (Name)
is
married to the servant of God (Name)
in
the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit", and
then, "O Lord our God, crown them with glory and honour". The rings
have a deep symbolic meaning. This symbolism is indicated with the words,
from the Service of Betrothal, "Through a ring the authority was given
to Joseph in Egypt; through a ring Daniel was glorified in the land of
Babylon; through a ring the true identity of Thamar was discovered; through
a ring our heavenly Father showed mercy on the prodigal son; for he said,
Put a ring on his finger". The crowns and their exchange symbolise
the couple's citizenship in the Kingdom of God, where "there is neither
male nor female" (Gal. 3:28), and of their
dying to each other (c.f. Rev. 2:10).
The Holy Scriptures tell us that
God "blessed" marriage from the beginning of time saying "Be
fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth" (Gen.
1:27-28), showing that marriage is part of God's eternal purpose
for humanity. Further on, in Genesis 2:24,
we read, "Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and be united
to his wife, and they will become one flesh". Our Lord Jesus Christ
reiterated these words when asked if it is lawful for a man to divorce
his wife. He continued, "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matt.
19:4-6).
Christ forever sanctified marriage
by His presence at the marriage in Cana of Galilee (John
2:1-11). This was the first time Christ performed a miracle, and
the first time the Theotokos interceded with Christ on behalf of others
saying, "They have no wine", and then instructs all humanity, "Whatever
He say to you, do it".
The Apostle Paul compares the Mystery
of Marriage with the Church in these words, recited during the Crowning
Service, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church
and gave Himself for her", and "for this reason a man shall leave
his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become
one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the
church" (Eph. 5:25, 31-32). In 1
Corinthians 7, St. Paul gives detailed guidance on virginity and
marriage. He also commands that marriage should be preserved.
Thus, marriage is holy, blessed
and everlasting sacrament in the sight of God and His Church.
Finally, history closes with marriage
of the Bride to the Lamb (Rev. 19:7-9), thus
fulfilling the earthly marriage in the heavenly, showing the eternal nature
of marriage.
HOLY MATRIMONY
is a one of the Mysteries of the Holy Orthodox Church in which a man and
woman are united by the Holy Trinity. Their conjugal union is blessed by
our Lord Jesus Christ through the Church. God's grace is imparted to them
to live together in His love, mutually fulfilling and perfecting each other.The
Mystery of marriage of the Holy Orthodox Church is steeped in ritual and
symbolism. Each of the acts has special meaning and significance.
THE RINGS The rings
are blessed by the priest who takes them in his hand and, making the sign
of the cross over the heads of bride and groom, says: "The servant of God
...is betrothed to the maid of God ... in the name of the Father, of the
Son, and of the Holy Spirit. "The couple then exchange the rings, taking
the bride's ring and placing it on the groom's finger and vice-versa. The
rings, of course, are the symbol of betrothal and their exchange signifies
that in married life the weaknesses of the one partner will be compensated
for by the strength of the other, the imperfections of one by the perfections
of the other. By themselves, the newly-betrothed are incomplete: together
they are made perfect. Thus the exchange of rings gives expression to the
fact that the spouses in marriage will constantly be complementing each
other. Each will be enriched by the union.
THE CANDLES The Wedding
service begins immediately following the Betrothal Service. The bride and
groom are handed candles which they hold throughout the service. The candles
are like the lamps of the five wise maidens of the Bible, who because they
had enough oil in them, were able to receive the Bridegroom, Christ, when
He came in the darkness of the night. The candles symbolize the spiritual
willingness of the couple to receive Christ, Who will bless them through
this Mystery.
THE JOINING
OF THE RIGHT HANDS The right
hand of the bride and groom are joined when the priest reads the prayer
that beseeches God to "join these thy servants, unite them in one mind
and one flesh." The hands are kept joined throughout the service to symbolize
the "oneness" of the couple.
THE CROWNING The service
of the Crowning, which follows, is the climax of the Wedding service. The
crowns are signs of the glory and honor with which God crowns them during
the Mystery. The groom and the bride are crowned as the king and queen
of their own little kingdom, the home - domestic church, which they will
rule with fear of God,wisdom,justice and integrity. When the crowning takes
place the priest, taking the crowns and holding them above the couple,
says: "The servants of God, (names),
are crowned in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy
Spirit. Amen." The crowns used in the
Orthodox wedding service refer to the crowns of martyrdom since every true
marriage involves immeasurable self-sacrifice on both sides.
THE COMMON
CUP The service
of crowning is followed by the reading of the Epistle and the Gospel. The
Gospel reading describes the marriage at Cana of Galilee which was attended
and blessed by our Lord and Saviour Christ, and for which He reserved His
first miracle. There He converted the water into better wine and give of
it to the newlyweds, in remembrance of this blessing, wine is given the
couple. This is the "common cup" of better life denoting the mutual
sharing of joy and sorrow, the token of a life of harmony. The drinking
of wine from the common cup serves to impress upon the couple that from
that moment on they will share everything in life, joys as well as sorrows,
and that they are to "bear one another's burdens." Their joys will be doubled
and their sorrows halved because they will be shared.
THE WALK The priest
then leads the bride and groom in a circle around the table on which are
placed the Gospel and the Cross, the one containing the Word of God, the
other being the symbol of our redemption by our Saviour Jesus Christ. The
husband and wife are taking their first steps as a married couple, and
the Church, in the person of the priest, leads them in the way they must
walk. The way is symbolized by the circle at the center of which are the
Gospel and the Cross of our Lord. This expresses the fact that the way
of Christian living is a perfect orbit around the center of life, who is
Jesus Christ our Lord.During this walk around the table a hymn its sung
to the Holy Martyrs reminding the newly married couple of the sacrificial
love they are to have for each other in marriage - a love that seeks not
its own but is willing to sacrifice its all for the one loved.
THE BLESSING The couple
return to their places and the priest, blessing the groom, says, "Be
thou magnified, O bridegroom, as Abraham, and blessed as Isaac, and increased
as Jacob, walking in peace and working in righteousness the commandments
of God." And blessing the bride he says, "And thou, O bride, be
thou magnified as Sarah, and glad as Rebecca, and do thou increase like
unto Rachael, rejoicing in thine own husband, fulfilling the conditions
of the law; for so it is well pleasing unto God."
YOUR PRESENCE In attending
this Mystery, we ask you not only to witness the marriage of two people
but also to add your prayers to theirs that God may bless their life together
for "unless the Lord build the house,those who build it labor in vain."
(Ps.127:1)
